Now, where do I start with this one? I'm a tad coy, you see. A tiny bit shy. Ok, sod it. I'll start with the fact that... I once heard a rumour.Yes, a rumour that was all about a lovely little chap called Erhun Aksel Oztumer.
You don't know him?
Ok. Let me tell you a short tale of his footballing journey. He came all the way from Turkey, you see - where he used to play professionally for a wee while.
He came to play a most special, mercurial brand of football and, indeed, bring us a significant amount of happiness, excitement and joy.
Erhun is a diminutive little fella – he claims to be 5ft 3, but the terraces swear blind he's no more than 5'2. But I don't mind that. What's an inch between friends, eh? (Simmer down at the back there).
The only thing that matters is that he's pink and blue. And Gavin, God and all you crazy scouts out there, I beg of you just one thing, on behalf of all us lunatic fringe Hamlet fans and the Turkish Ultras alike... PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY ERHUN AWAY!
So, to summarise...
I heard a rumour
Erhun Oztumer
He came from Turkey
To bring us joy
He's 5ft 2
He's pink and blue
Oh please don't take
My Erhun away
Over and out... Carry on up the Ryman!
Over and out... Carry on up the Ryman!
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